Who Am I ?

Who am I, is a question which needs pondering in depth by every one. The three aspects of our personality, what others think of us, what we thinks of us need to be in harmony with what we actually are. More often than not, what others think of us becomes most important. This in turn, moulds our own opinion of our self. For example, a person has a public image of being either a shrew or being meek. Such a person will at times feel obliged to live up to the image, i.e. be angry when he or she is not or be quiet when furious. We become bound to this image of ours. Our opinion of our self tends to rely on the company of our friends, community etc. This is peer pressure.
The moment we come under the yoke of peer pressure, our intelligence gets clouded and the clarity of thought and situations vanishes. In short, we create a prison for own self. We begin to live up to the expectations of others which may be at variance with our own. If this situation continues, a nagging feeling of disquiet fills the being and it becomes difficult to pinpoint the reason for it. Relief is sought and one can turn to drugs or false friends to overcome it.
A break through comes about only when the need for it is realised. When the desire for change arises, the means too, appear.
More on this in the next blog.

Empathising with Others

Empathy is required in our everyday life. When we feel irritated, we need to stem our irritation by seeing the other person's actions from a different angle. Even our own, for that matter. This may not be possible all the time. The next best thing is to think about the day's events just before sleeping. In that tired state, the mind is defenceless and new insights are possible. This can occur only if we are ready to make the requisite effort.
We have three aspects to our personality.
The first is what others think we are.
The second is what we think we are.
The third is what we actually are.
In the half asleep state, our real self, what we actually are peeps out. This is the time when we become aware of the reasons for our own actions and reactions. This eases the pressure on our mind and helps in sound sleep.

Be Objective

We can learn to connect with our own selves to have clear reasoning and understanding of our actions and reactions. It is the nature of the mind to blur the intelligence and absolve one's own self of all wrong doing. Thinking over the day's events just before sleeping is a good habit. Sometimes, the first thought in the morning helps in better understanding. It is important to distance yourself a little to be objective. Intelligence functions best when it is not too involved.
We may give perfect advice to others but will feel lost with our own problems. Intelligence is sharpened when we cease to judge others and empathise with them. The quality of empathy is really placing our own self in another person's shoes.

Connecting Within

All of us connect within when we feel peaceful and contented as occasinally we all do. We have to actually hold on to this spark of connection and nurture it. This connection becomes camouflaged by feelings of anger, hatred, greed and jealousy. These felings harm not only others but our own self also by robbing us of our peace. A supreme effort is needed to keep a check on the negativity within us.
The effort needs to begin at the level of the thought. Thoughts which harm others and us should be nipped in the bud. Deep breathing calms the mind. Concentrating on the inhaling and the exhaling process of breathing will help relax.

Inner Peace

At times we are all restess, not knowing what to do with our spare time. Nothing appears to satisfy. We may pursue one thing or the other in our search for inner satisfaction. We must recognise this as the restlessness of the soul, of our inner self.
We cannot survive without taking adequate care of the body. Similarly, we have to take care of the needs of our inner self for our own peace. Time has to be kept apart for caring to the needs of the inner self. Beautiful nature is the ready means to connect within. The beauty of creation, be it the colourful flowers or majestic trees in a park, silences the turmoil within. Listening to the sounds of creation such as the chirping birds, the falling rain, the rustle of the leaves, the waves of the sea all soothe the restlessness of the spirit. Looking up at the sky itself helps us to connect within.
This inner connection is the key to our inner peace.

One Among Many

We must always keep in mind that we are one among many, though everyone has an innermost desire to be exclusive. Overlooking this simple fact becomes the cause of frustration and sorrow. The inmost desire to be exclusive should not depend upon other people's perception of us. We can feel exclusive within ourselves by being content and peaceful. But in society we are always one among many. We may occupy the centre stage but for a while only. We have to move on to make space for others.
Inner strength is needed to face our own shortcomings. Develop your strength by being positive.

The Learning Process

We are all bestowed with inner strength. To think otherwise is to forget that as babies we all learnt to crawl, to stand up first with some help and then walk on our own. Their inner strength motivates the babies to get up when they fall, to leave the hand that supports them and to walk on their own. We do not remember but all of us have gone through this learning process.
When we grow up, feelings of fear and at times guilt saps our inner strength. The universe actually functions without the concept of fear. The sun, the moon, the stars and the five elements function without fear. But fear is part of the sentient world. All the creatures including human beings live a life fraught with fear.
Developing inner strength is the only means of overcoming fear. The base of inner strength is courage of your inner convictions and not harming anyone consciously. As mortals mired in confusion, we are all bound to make mistakes. But if we accept our mistake, atone it if possible, and learn the implicit lesson from it, we can get rid of both fear and guilt. We are then ready to move forward without the baggage of past indiscretion's weighing on our mind. In short we bounce back with vigour and inner strength intact.