Fleeting Joy

What is Joy? Is it being happy on your own, with others, or feeling satisfied with making others miserable? Perhaps it is all three because we are all shades of grey and not black or white. The common quality in all aspects of joy is that it is fleeting and not long lasting. All happiness which is linked to achievement evaporates after some time. The same holds true for malicious pleasure. The only constant is the craving for pleasure. A person's whole life will be spent in sampling and deciding what makes him or her happy. There's no harm in this, so long as another person is not hurt in this process. Happiness and pleasure will vanish after a while but negative feelings of hatred or dislike which are aroused by hurting others will continue.
We have to discriminate whether this momentary pleasure is worth hurting people close to you or not. Careful judgement is needed.
Beyond the manifold experiences of worldly pleasure is understanding the nature of lasting joy.

Pursuit of Joy

The most important aspect of life is knowing our own self. The common thread which binds all living, sentient beings is the craving for peace, happiness and joy. The source of happiness however varies. A dog is contented chewing on a juicy bone, a butterfly hovering on a flower, a person may be happy helping another, yet another's happiness may lie in dancing at a carnival and a third may feel good being mean and nasty. But all the above are unabashedly chasing joy. This is the nature of every one born on earth.
The difference between creatures and human beings is that whereas the former have a solid reason of hunger for destruction, the latter do not. Inspite of superior intelligence, people do not hesitate to trample others in their pusuit of happiness.
Every one survives on a diet of love and joy. The key to happiness is to live and let live.
We should have a clear understanding of the nature of happiness so that we learn not to hurt others.

The Image of Our Own Self

The three levels of our personality are revealed only when we think about them deeply. Dissatisfaction with anything can be utilised positively as a goad for revelations about our own self and to progress. It is necessary to have positive image about our capabilities no matter what the difficulties in life. That is the only way to cope with them. Never be bound by the image of what society thinks of you. Self confidence springs from the knowing that we can, all of us, always overcome. At the same time it is wise to know that confidence is always being tested, at times undermined by various problems and people we face in life.
But when our own image of our self is one of grit and determination, we have the moral courage to face everything. That is what counts. Every one's life is like the waves of an ocean---up and down.
Whenever we feel low, we should hark back to the time when we were part of the victory lap. It can be any memory from childhood, or as an adult. We are and we become what we think. Never underestimate the power of thought. Think of yourself as a person with strength and the ability to
face the roller coasters of life.
The source of self confidence is knowing who we are.

Who Am I ?

Who am I, is a question which needs pondering in depth by every one. The three aspects of our personality, what others think of us, what we thinks of us need to be in harmony with what we actually are. More often than not, what others think of us becomes most important. This in turn, moulds our own opinion of our self. For example, a person has a public image of being either a shrew or being meek. Such a person will at times feel obliged to live up to the image, i.e. be angry when he or she is not or be quiet when furious. We become bound to this image of ours. Our opinion of our self tends to rely on the company of our friends, community etc. This is peer pressure.
The moment we come under the yoke of peer pressure, our intelligence gets clouded and the clarity of thought and situations vanishes. In short, we create a prison for own self. We begin to live up to the expectations of others which may be at variance with our own. If this situation continues, a nagging feeling of disquiet fills the being and it becomes difficult to pinpoint the reason for it. Relief is sought and one can turn to drugs or false friends to overcome it.
A break through comes about only when the need for it is realised. When the desire for change arises, the means too, appear.
More on this in the next blog.

Empathising with Others

Empathy is required in our everyday life. When we feel irritated, we need to stem our irritation by seeing the other person's actions from a different angle. Even our own, for that matter. This may not be possible all the time. The next best thing is to think about the day's events just before sleeping. In that tired state, the mind is defenceless and new insights are possible. This can occur only if we are ready to make the requisite effort.
We have three aspects to our personality.
The first is what others think we are.
The second is what we think we are.
The third is what we actually are.
In the half asleep state, our real self, what we actually are peeps out. This is the time when we become aware of the reasons for our own actions and reactions. This eases the pressure on our mind and helps in sound sleep.

Be Objective

We can learn to connect with our own selves to have clear reasoning and understanding of our actions and reactions. It is the nature of the mind to blur the intelligence and absolve one's own self of all wrong doing. Thinking over the day's events just before sleeping is a good habit. Sometimes, the first thought in the morning helps in better understanding. It is important to distance yourself a little to be objective. Intelligence functions best when it is not too involved.
We may give perfect advice to others but will feel lost with our own problems. Intelligence is sharpened when we cease to judge others and empathise with them. The quality of empathy is really placing our own self in another person's shoes.

Connecting Within

All of us connect within when we feel peaceful and contented as occasinally we all do. We have to actually hold on to this spark of connection and nurture it. This connection becomes camouflaged by feelings of anger, hatred, greed and jealousy. These felings harm not only others but our own self also by robbing us of our peace. A supreme effort is needed to keep a check on the negativity within us.
The effort needs to begin at the level of the thought. Thoughts which harm others and us should be nipped in the bud. Deep breathing calms the mind. Concentrating on the inhaling and the exhaling process of breathing will help relax.